Ways in which I am already treating child number two differently than child number 1:
- With Mitchell I avoided my occasional Diet Pepsi. I think I had maybe two the whole time I was pregnant. This time I've been a little less strict with myself, I mean it averages out to like two Diet Pepsis a month, but nevertheless he's certainly getting a higher dose of caffeine and mysterious chemicals.
-With Mitchell we took pictures of my growing self almost every week. This time, I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant, and we've taken two pictures. Various factors contribute to this. Mostly I just forget, but it's also just not as fun this time around. I guess because we've seen it before? Super excited for the baby, super not excited about the fatness.
-With Mitchell I didn't dye my hair the whole pregnancy. You know, that paranoia about strange chemicals. This time as soon as I was out of my first trimester I busted out the hair dye. I have roots and grays (yes, grays) to cover! I haven't dyed it since, and I needs it badly, but still, more random chemical exposure. Add that to the fact that I also painted the baby room and he's got quite the chemical soup going. I don't really think these things are going to harm him, or I wouldn't have done them, but if he's born with a third eye, I guess we know who to blame.
-I attempted a scrapbook and baby book for Mitchell. Neither of them are complete. I don't know even know if I'll start them with this baby.
-I've already decided this baby will be naughty. Sad isn't it? It just seems like everyone gets at least one kid that is a hard baby, and Mitchell was an easy baby, so I think I'm due. Poor little guy, born with the expectation of causing me to be quite stressed.
I know these are small things, but some amount of mother guilt is already starting. I feel like number 2 is already getting shafted, that I'm already creating ammunition for number two to accuse me of favoring Mitchell. Add that to the worry I feel about Mitchell feeling neglected when the new baby arrives, and I've got all sorts of conflicting emotions going on. Sheesh, this being a mom business is hard.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Starting early
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6 comments:
Baby number 2 will get the short end of the stick... its just the way it is. Luckily, getting to have a big brother will make up for most of it. Big brothers are the best.
That's why special children are saved to be second...
They have to be extra naughty to get fair stage time!
Yep, I agree. Mother guilt. Totally real. But for what it's worth, my SECOND is/was a CHERUB! Not a terror at all. So seconds can be nice and sweet too!
the worst thing that happens to deprived second children is when they become a middle child. good luck getting some positive attention then!
Oh look Ian will be so happy I get to pass on the advice he always give me. We all know I'm the big worrier that over thinks and plans everything. When I had these very same concerns while pregnant with Jade Ian told me, "Because you care enough to worry it won't happen." He has said this about several things I worry about and he is always right. I'm not saying don't worry because I certainly can't stop but know that some day you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. That is how I feel anyway. Yet I just keep on with the worry.
Well, speaking from the Grandmother perspective, all you can do is do your best. The reality is, you may think that you are doing a good job and your kids (because they are kids and have a different perspective) will see things differently. For instance, my oldest child said "When am I going to get some REAL clothes?" after I made her a jean skirt she asked for in second grade. I thought I was making what she wanted, but she had a different vision than I did. Neither of us were wrong, we just saw the same thing from different perspectives. The way I look at it, you will be able to overcome a lot of Motherhood Angst by just remembering to make sure they know you love them and that you are human and will make mistakes - remember to say "I'm sorry" when it's appropriate. I can't say I always did that - but I think it's good advice. Remember when you asked after Mitchell was born if there was ever a time that you wouldn't keep thinking in the back of your mind about him and whether you're going the right thing, etc., etc. and I said "NO - welcome to Motherhood" - well it's the same thing again. Now do you see why I have always thought Mother's Day was invented by someone who wanted to get back at their Mom by giving her a guilt complex about all the different ways she wasn't measuring up to the Perfect Mom? Just remember there is no Perfect Mom, but from what I can see when I am around you and Mitchell - I honestly think you're doing a GREAT JOB - and remember I always tell the truth. Love, Mom and Happy Mother's Day
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